How to make your own “Confidence Button”.

How to set an anchor… or create a magic time portal to your emotions.

Confidence is an elusive thing….. I was ironing a shirt a year or so ago. An unusual occurrence itself in my house. I hate ironing. The thing was though… all of a sudden the smell of the iron smoothing through the clean cotton brought my father back to me. He’s been gone 15 years now, but the scent of washing powder and steamy iron, for some reason, transported him back to me as solidly as if he had stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my shoulders. For a good few minutes I shut my eyes and immersed myself in a forgotten feeling. I remembered the scent of his aftershave, the warmth of his hug. I could see again the kink in his broken finger.


It took my breath away. And I cried. “I miss you, Daddy…” I whispered to the silent kitchen. That feeling held me so tightly.

That moment, conjured up so strongly by the scent of hot iron on cloth, was like stepping into a time portal. By some chance of fate the smell had transported me so powerfully. It was like being hit by a truck. But in a good way.

Its an Anchor!

It was only when I started to study Cognitive Hypnotherapy that I learned this phenomenon had a name! It was an anchor. A connection to an emotion from my past. It was like having my own “Confidence Button” or a button for calm, or strength, or any positive emotion I wanted to access.

I began to learn about the power of the mind. Having experienced the smell anchor in my kitchen I knew how strongly the mind could connect to certain memories when triggered. What I now learnt was that anchors could be triggered on purpose.

How incredible! To have my own time portal to positive feelings of calm, confidence…. even to joy… whenever I needed them.

All I had to do was decide where I was going to place the anchor, or which smell I would use, or possibly even a sound. Then I had to take myself back to a time when I felt the feeling strongly.

My first deliberate anchor was for confidence. I shut my eyes and took myself back to the moment I was about to step on stage to graduate. I remembered the happiness, the overwhelming pride and absolute confidence in myself. For 5 seconds I pressed on my knuckle as I felt the feelings wash over me. And there it was. Set.

Now, whenever I feel myself doubting, I press on my knuckle and there I am again, in my gown, feeling warm and solid and sure of myself. Its brilliant!

Graduation at Ely Cathedral

Sometimes I don’t even need to touch it. Sometimes just the thought of my knuckle can make me feel strong!

Why use an anchor?

Anchors can be so powerful. Maybe try it yourself… What feeling do you need to access? Where can your time portal take you? If you could just close your eyes for a moment and take yourself back to a time, a place… some moment when you felt the way you want to feel… calm, happy, confident… It might be that you can choose a knuckle, or your ear lobe… maybe you can transport yourself by sniffing some lavender on a tissue. Or perhaps, for you, the sound of a particular piece of music can take you to where you want to be…

Think of the brilliance of it. If you are an actor, a sports person, taking an exam… For free, you have a time portal to magically open the way to calmness, happiness, confidence, or indeed any other feeling you need to access. Just with the touch of a knuckle, the scent of something, the bars of a tune…

If you keep an eye out for professional sports people you will often see them accessing their anchor… Watch Jason Day as he sets up for a golf shot. His anchor is in the palm of his hand. How useful is that? Nobody will notice generally. You just press or sniff and there you are…feeling calm, confident… however you want to feel. It really is like magic! How about athletes lining up for the 100m… can you spot them anchoring? How about sitting down for an exam? How brilliant is it to be able to calm your nerves by sniffing a tissue or pressing your knuckle?

The other day I felt overcome with the feeling of joy. It was one of those moments when light shines on ones life and you just realise how very lucky you are. Before I knew it I had pressed on the knuckle of my thumb and there it was… a joy anchor!

How Can Cognitive Hypnotherapy help you?

The anchor is just one of the many tools used in Cognitive Hypnotherapy and, as you can see, its quick and easy to learn. I’ve just taught you in a matter of minutes… How exciting is that?

There are lots of other tools that I use to help my clients and its amazing how simple yet powerful they are. If you are wondering whether I can help you with a problem you have, why not give me a ring and we can have a chat.

Tel: 07894564287          Email: